Monday, September 24, 2012

Rant: We're all blaster snobs

Clearly, she's done this before.. never.
I was standing in the toy gun aisle in a Target the other day while I overheard a conversation a man was having with what I think was his gf/wife about Super Soakers. He picked up a Thunderstorm box and showed it to her and said "I got me two of these, Fully automatic madness. I'm gonna totally own Dan's kids next time we have a water fight"

She seemed suitably impressed and said the customary grown up thing to say of "they look so dangerous, so different to when WE were kids" and thought he was an all round wacky kinda guy.

I just looked at them in horror, quietly shook my head and thought to myself "lightweight":P Are you serious? Water guns when you were a kid would totally destroy two Thunderstorms.

How many times has this happened to you when you hear someone talk about toy blasters like they're an expert but really, they have no clue and you can't help but think they're a total noob? Yup, that's how I felt. And then I realised. Dear god, I am a blaster snob..


Ever been to some sort of regular mixer and some guy is trying to go on about how awesome he is because he bought a Nerf gun and boasts about it being a 6 shooter and you feel the massive desire to just jump in and say "that's a Maverick, it's been around for ages, normally the first gun any 8yo gets in the Nerf range, whatever chump"? Then you're a blaster snob.

If you've ever had some friend of yours who's a parent go on about how their kid has "so many Nerf guns" and you look at their collection and say "yawn, yeah I've got them all but that one isn't very good, you obviously don't love your child very much" then... you're a blaster snob.

Ever had someone come to you to tell you about the "latest Nerf gun" and you say "I have it, that's not new".. then you're a blaster snob.

Do you read websites where mainstream journalists write about toy blasters and obviously have no real idea what they're on about, and the photos they show with them holding one like it's from another planet just make you want to cringe and write a comment under their article letting them know the Nitron is NOT the biggest Nerf blaster out there and they're "holding it by the clip, noob"? Then you're a blaster snob.

If you've ever said "it's a blaster, not a gun" then you're a blaster snob.

If you take pleasure in absolutely outclassing some punk who thinks he's the shiz with his stock Recon with your heavily modded to death Longshot and making it rain foam all over him while telling him exactly WHY his blaster is inferior to yours, even if said punk is only 10 years old and you're old enough to be his dad.. then you're a blaster snob.

If you actually read this blog, and blogs like it.. then you're a blaster snob. Especially if you find inaccuracies in my posts and call me on it. Then you're a pedantic douche of a blaster snob:P (hehe)

And, if you've ever cringed at a mother buying a Cosmic Thruster, you know you're probably a blaster snob too. Although if you throw yourself in front of her and stop her and convince her to buy something else, you're just a good Samaritan :D

31 comments:

  1. Haha this post rocks! It's so true, I hate it when someone tells me about Nerf when they clearly have no idea. Blaster snob and proud!

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  2. Guilty as charged:-)

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  3. Totally proud to be a blaster snob :D
    As for that 'massive desire' you mention in the 5th paragraph regarding the Mav, I actually speel out a whole essay whenever anyone says something like that. It's kinda fun but very time consuming.

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  4. Hmmm...very thought provoking. I'd thought that I was just proud of knowing something others didn't but now I don't whether to be proud or ashamed.

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  5. Ever had someone tell you they are the "biggest Nerf fan" and you just scoff and think "I don't think so?" Yessir, that's me!! I guess I am a blaster snob too!

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  6. In the bmx world i'm also from, we do the same. Especially about a kid on a mongoose ripping T-bars and stoppies thinking that they're the next garret reynolds.

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    1. Hehe, you just made my day! I also come from the bmx world, not pro yet...

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  7. ha ha ha ha yes, yes, a thousand times yes! and I love the last bit. I am definitely a good Samaritan!!!!!

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  8. "If you've ever said "it's a blaster, not a gun" then you're a blaster snob."

    But if we say gun someones going to call campus police and take them away.

    Rest of that don't fall into.

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    1. I'd have to agree, it's simple prevention.

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  9. Guess I'm a snob/sameritan. I tend to be underwelmed by my nephews' blasters then end up moding the hell out of them for them :). Still rember seeing thier longshot firing and thinking is that really as far as it shoots stock??? Sediment post Pocket.

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    1. Stupid "smart" phone spell check, ment Awsome post Pocket :)

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    2. haha that error's so funny!

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  10. Yeah, all the time. usually kills me a little inside.

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  11. I do that with beer, and I know people that do that with music, books, home stereo equipment, restaurants, organic food, food in general, TV, tailgates, softball bats, softball in general, exercise equipment, football, baseball, sports in general, computer operating systems, calculators, paintball markers, Battlestar Galactica, Metallica, lawns, shoes, suits, ties, t-shirts, MMORPGs, cars, artwork, light bulbs, x-mas lights, the long-spelled version of x-mas, fast food, and pizza.

    That's just the things I can see from my computer desk chair. TLDR version: Everyone does it, its nothing to worry about, get over it.

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    1. "Life is too short to drink bad beer." I try not to diss others' choices because I know tastes vary and some can't afford small batch brews, but it still amazes me that the big breweries ever managed to get so big.

      Around my office (I might be old enough to be Pocket's father) there's a wide variety of blasters and user types. I think I'm the only one who is a true Nerf blaster fan who reads blogs and researched every purchase after my first. Most of my co-workers saw others in the office and thought it would be fun to be able to return fire once in a while. As a result we've got a crazy mix of blasters here: Alpha Trooper, Barrel Break, Deploy, Long Strike, Lumitron, Maverick, Praxis, Pyragon, Raider, Speed Load, Speedswarm, Stampede, Swarmfire and Vigilon.

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    2. "Life is too short to drink bad beer." I try not to diss others' choices because I know tastes vary and some can't afford small batch brews, but it still amazes me that the big breweries ever managed to get so big.

      Around my office (I might be old enough to be Pocket's father) there's a wide variety of blasters and user types. I think I'm the only one who is a true Nerf blaster fan who reads blogs and researched every purchase after my first. Most of my co-workers saw others in the office and thought it would be fun to be able to return fire once in a while. As a result we've got a crazy mix of blasters here: Alpha Trooper, Barrel Break, Deploy, Long Strike, Lumitron, Maverick, Praxis, Pyragon, Raider, Speed Load, Speedswarm, Stampede, Swarmfire and Vigilon.

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  12. Yeah.. That's me.. All the people boasting about their brand new Deploy that's so awesome, I have to cut them down. I have to.

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    1. Go and unload your Pyragon or Hail-Fire on them!

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  13. I was like "nope, nope, nope..." all the way up to "it's a blaster, not a gun". -_-

    Also just putting it out there...I would never stop someone from buying a Cosmic Thruster, and if anyone ever gave me one, I would use it every war :P

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  14. I was in a toy store once, watching two (let's call them nerds) guys in camo fatigues with Colonial Marines patches on them (who both needed a shower) arguing over the Micro Machines. You see, they didn't know which episode featured a particular star ship, they argued for quite some time. Problem was, I TOTALLY knew whose ship it was and which episode, etc. but I couldn't bring myself to tell them. I was nerdier than the nerds. So, I went home and took a shower and have since sold all my Star Trek Micro Machines. Not the Star Wars ones though, those rule.

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  15. If you read this post and said "It's a magazine, not a clip", you're probably a gun snob.

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  16. So true especially when people call themsekves "pros" but they hav never been old enough to see when nerf or any supersoaker started. it is the blasters that do the real talking not how cool it looks or popularity. a super soaker 50 can easily outclass a thunderstorm yet it does not look as cool. also u never know if someones nerf gun was modded.people should do their reasearch before they open their yap.

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  17. Awesome post It once happened 2 me with my friend I told him I was getting the FuryFire and he said he was getting the N-Strike Elite! He thought it was one gun, clearly he had saw the advertisement! lol

    Check out my blog - wreckingreviewsofnerf.blogspot.com

    Happy Nerfing!!

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  18. why are people even making lies and false opinions based on theyre experience of never using something??? ive only seen toddlers do this shizt but mothers that dont have a clue about any of this shit and think by what they see??? isint the best thing to do only causes more idiots to believe more shit thats false and spread it and while in another nerf battle a noob isint using this highly proclaimed and acknowledged gun but using something better. theyre are tons of examples of shit like this in battlefield 3 especcialy the snipers on battlefield 3.

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  19. Will do nerfmaniac. btw go by the name of rick_randy in the nerfcenter days.;

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  20. I know i'm a blaster snob when I am standing in the Nerf aisle in Target and a kid walks up beside me and he picks up a Rayven. He shows his mom and he says "Hey mom look at this! This is one of the new Nerf guns" and I tell him "It is a blaster not a gun" then I take the Rayven out of his hands and I hand him a Hail-Fire and say "By the way this is one of the new blasters not that Rayven" so yeah I am a blaster snob.

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